Monday, 17 October 2016

                                 Walking into Oblivion 

She woke up with that feeling when one wants to vomit after a night of drunken extravaganza. Her feet felt cold as she dragged herself to the bathroom. Slowly lifting herself till she was in line with the pot. Her arms still aching but not even in close contention to her sides, she puked out a cocktail of alcohol, food, blood and a part of her soul.
In a night that had involved meeting this ravishing looking fella, that had led to drinks and debauchery, this moment was nowhere part of the picture. But as she turned to wipe her face, she could not help but notice her hands covered in red. Where did the blood come from, she wondered?
A slight push of strength and now she was on her knees. Another push and she got herself in front of this full-length mirror. Her face looked as if a truck had rammed it. A vision of the previous night flashed by and all she could think about was the list of drinks she had had. Not a single moment that recalled how she got where she was. Bloody and bruised.
She slowly crawled back into the room, dragging her left leg which seemed to be broken. It surprised her how she did not feel the pain a few minutes back, but now it had reached a level beyond imaginable. She used the edge of the bed to lift her self and with all the remaining upper body strength she finally managed to get onto the mattress.
She lay there for what seemed an eternity, still trying to recollect her surroundings. The blood still dripping and a strange sense of calmness blanketed over her mind as she still couldn't recall a single memory of where she was and what had happened to her.
Just then, the phone rang and a man's voice said, "Hope you love your birthday present."

Sunday, 9 October 2016

   Yeah, I'll Try Keeping It Real for Sure

If you’d ask me whether any actress managed to replace Madhuri Dixit in Bollywood, i’d say no. She left a huge void. Her versatility, range of choice and years in the industry ensured so. That said, the contenders for the crown narrows down to very few actresses (purely on their craft, not merely looks) who somehow lacked consistency. And still do. There’s no Hindi film actress around who can do justice to the C-word. Nope, not even Kajol or Vidya Balan. The former had a phase and so does the latter. Let’s not even talk about Deepika Padukone or Katrina Kaif. Yes, both have Smita Patil Memorial Award in their kitty but that doesn’t alter the fact that acting remains alien to them. Which is why it’s a good enough time to go back to Aishwarya Rai. She has had her share of rubbish movies but there are some gems she should be proud of. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) takes the cake for me—Raincoat (2004) comes close second, interestingly co-starring Ajay Devgan again—for the sheer contrast between her character in the first half and the second half; the bubbly spirit giving way to a subdued married naari. And that particular scene where she is asked to smile for a picture remains epic. Holding back one’s sorrow with a pseudo-smile can’t get any better than this.
       The Unresolved Visits a Neighborhood

There had been a robbery. Nobody was home and when the family members returned, they were greeted by a guard-less gate followed by chaotic rooms. It was as if the culprits had set a timer, giving themselves few minutes for each room. Leave no valuables behind must have been the mantra. More than 10 kg of gold was missing along with some super-expensive gadgets. Oh yes, the security guard too. Obviously, the sword of doubt fell squarely on the poor fellow. A manhunt was announced as the family wouldn’t let someone betray their trust and get away with it easily. An example had to be set. Little did any of them know his body was slowly rotting in the backyard away from everything and yet so close. 

Friday, 7 October 2016

                 Amit's MBA in Anger Management

Amit's Reflection
"Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job you fucking fucks! Slow the fuck down! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Fuck those motherfuckers that grenaded our soldiers in Uri. Fuck this fucking Metro Traffic. Fuck this smell of people in the bus. Fuck those grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in their country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. shit. Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Imclone! Worldcom! Fuck this fucking job change. Fuck the colleague next to me. Fuck that chick with a conniving prick. Fuck overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. Fuck the uptown brothers and those fucking YouTube trends. 

Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. Try seven years in fuckin Otisville, Jay! Fuck al-Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. Fuck all for killing innocent thousands, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. Fuck this phone. Fuck that Apple 7. Fuck this misery. You ain't fooling anybody sweetheart! Fuck you bitch for putting me up on the rocks for 5 years. I gave you my trust and you stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb fuck. Fuck I still love you. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck that I am into it today. Fuck this anger that I project on others. Fuck that I'm angry at myself, at my shortcomings and my helpless failures. Fuck that I look for scapegoats and dump the unreasonable avalanche of emotion on them. God Kill me. I wanna die.

       You've got a terrible name? Pity!

Do you know the name of your maid? If you don't, chances are you'll be the first to accuse her of theft if you misplaced your earphones (only to find it in your car two weeks later). When you don't familiarize with people, the communication and emotional barrier is always present. And what is the first step towards building a relationship? Bingo! Knowing each other's name. Something we tend to ignore mainly because of laziness than anything else. The immediate excuse is, why include one more contact to your phone? There's already more than enough on your contact list whom you haven't met or heard from in over a year now. Fair enough. But the people i'm talking about here happen to belong to the lower rung. People who are perennially overlooked for some reason best explained by the fast emerging middle-middle class. These are the very folks who serve you in the cafeteria on a daily basis; the guy who salutes you (as if you won PoK for the country) while opening the colony gate; even your office boy whose job is to clean the mess your leave on your desk. They are everywhere and yet nowhere. They remain nameless. The most basic tenets of civilization is not accorded to them. And then we wonder why some restaurant didn't let a driver have a meal. Chances are racism might go out of fashion someday soon. But classism? Can't say.

Tuesday, 19 July 2016

        Along the way to a journey called Life
They say life is a gift given to you by God. They say life is beautiful. Maybe they are talking about something that I never got to experience. For me life has been a little rude. Maybe a bit more than that. I got married some thirty years ago. But you can never guarantee the success of a marriage. Initially it felt good. I believe there should be two people to keep the relationship together. I wanted to be a good house wife and only God knows I tried my best to set things alright. God knows I tried to become a woman every mother-in-law wants. Sometimes you give up on people for so many reasons. Not because they don’t treat you with respect and love but because they try to snatch your freedom of becoming an independent woman. I had a dream of becoming an actress which dried up along the way in life. 

But there was always something within me that didn’t let me give up on my dreams. As you go along the way, your dreams also change. New ideas open your mind. So, now I am a successful dietician and astrologer. I believe health is the biggest gift in life that you can give to yourself. I truly know it from the bottom of my heart. I cannot skip a day without good healthy food. I also run aerobic classes for women. It feels good being with them, sharing happiness. I work 15 hours a day.  I have decided that I would be keep standing by truth, by hard work and by everything that makes me happy. Because I don’t like being lazy, most importantly, being dependent on people. I am a happiness seeker. After all, happiness is all what everyone is seeking. Isn’t it? 

Friday, 15 July 2016

    Breathing Football Day in Day out
I can’t recall the day I fell in love with Cristiano Ronaldo watching him in the field on TV. I am a huge fan of Ronaldo. I always managed to watch Real Madrid matches. Sometimes, I would get up in the morning at two and my parents would get disturbed in their sleep. India is a big country. But I haven’t given up in thinking as yet that it would not be able to collect best Football players in the world. India is new to Football. But not new to hard work and passion it can put in any game. Be it then in Cricket or Hockey. I have always played Football in my school. My friends always call me as a Football freak but they also often encourage me to be a Footballer. I know becoming a Footballer is a dream for me. But I know following your dream comes at the cost of your family and l don’t want to hurt my family because I love them very much. I can sacrifice even my life for my family. Football is just a small thing. All I want my family to know is that their Manoj loves them very much.


Wednesday, 6 July 2016

 Sultan Punches above His Weight
It’s not every day in the morning that you get up only to watch a Salman Khan movie. Trust me I am not the ‘coolest’ guy that indulges in watching the typical Bollywood stuff. But today I did. And, I did it for two reasons. (A) I didn’t have much to do (usually I do have a lot do including reading a lot of books, chatting up with people on Facebook and Tweeting sort of some weird stuff) because of Eid. (B) I hadn’t seen any movie in the past few months and this I had in my mind –you can call it a movie reminder but I call it a task-at-hand. So, it was after I was convinced to death by a colleague of mine who not just bought a ticket for me but also made sure that I get picked me up in his Honda City CRV from my home to the Saket PVR. There was a huge crowd out there. Huge! I didn’t see that crowd even when I last voted in Delhi Election –it was my first time when I voted for Arvind Kejriwal.

Coming back to the subject, Sultan is about a young wrestler of India who had no ambitions until he fell in love with Aarfa, Anushka Sharma. Life halts midway for Sultan Ali Khan when he ends up at losing her. And it’s when he starts his real journey in quest of life, determined to take back his self-respect and love. Sultan takes a challenge to be in the Mixed Martial Art (MMA) tournament only to take control over things. I must mention that I sort of cried watching Salman Khan. Yes, I did. Sultan is possibly going to be one of the biggest Bollywood stuff ever watched by Indians, maybe across the world by Non-Indians. There is an emotional touch which keeps you connected throughout the movie, making you think in a what-next mode. You must go to see this movie in theatres –it’s not that fun at home you get to see in theatres, isn’t it? Having said that, there is one masterstroke scene in the movie where Sultan is looking at his body in the mirror, being out of shape and this will surely keep your heart bleeding. So, take a chance, even if you ain't in riding habit of watching Salman’s movies, and thank yourself later.

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

    Uttrakhand –the Land of cloudbursts
Uttrakhand has been a beautiful place. Not only for me but also, I am sure, to all those people who have ever stopped by there to witness the gigantic mountains made of magnificence and breath-taking greenery supported by Holy rivers of Gods. It’s my native place. Of course, for me it’s a different feeling being out there. Yes, it is.  In literal meaning Uttrakhand means the Northern Land. Uttrakhand is also referred as (Devobhumi) the Land of Gods. Uttrakhand has also been an ancient Puranic term for the central stretch of Indian Himalayas, a mountain range in the Indian subcontinent. In fact, this is the place where ancient rock paintings, rock shelters, Palaeolithic stone tools (hundreds of thousands of years old), and megaliths provide evidence that the mountains of the region have been inhabited since prehistoric times.

However, today with hundreds of people being maimed and killed due to cloudburst and floods in last a couple of years, the government seems to have learnt little and have done only almost nothing to the security of its people. I don’t want to go into the political stuff and neither I want to blame on anyone for this. Because all I just want to say, not point out, that people living in such cloudburst-prone area should be given security from such horrific events for God’s sake. I know it’s not under my control. (you’re right!). But somebody must take the responsibility for this job. After all, it’s us at the end of the day, affected and afflicted. So, we all need to take this thing a little more seriously. It’s the need of the hour. And how do we do this? Well, next time these goofy politicians come to your area scrounging for votes, you must raise this issue. Of course things won’t change dramatically. However, hope is something they say makes things okay for people down the road. Isn’t it? So, let’s hope that God will bestow his grace on us. If the government doesn’t. 
     Laws that made a Chutiyapa out of Americans

Where is a thirsty person supposed to go when the laws of the land don't hold water? That's the question worth sleeping with in times like these. For a change, I'm referring to the USA instead of India here. This is not to forget what a mess of a nation we've built for ourselves but two events from America compel you to think through the surface. Americans takes pride in being a functional democracy with utmost regards for laws. But if a rapist gets preferential treatment for being an ex-Stanford and a psychopath can get easy access to weapons, something is rotten. Brock Turner of Stanford received six months (he'll be out within three) of imprisonment in a county jail (not even a federal prison) for committing unmentionable acts to a sloshed woman. Omar Mateen killed 50 and injured 50+ in Orlando (wonder how he managed to pull off this action single-handedly but then, he pales in comparison to Anders Brevik who killed 77 and injured 300+ in 2011) merely because he couldn't stand gay men. Whatever their backdrop, these two ungentle men proved how ineffectual human laws could be. Neither of them had a Wikipedia page five weeks ago but now they do. They are a part of our daily conversations. A part of our reality we can't escape. A reality we need to deal with. A situation the world, including India, can't afford to see a new chutiyapa out of Americans. 

Monday, 4 July 2016

              The English Bug

People look at me suspiciously whenever I tell somebody that I don't watch an English film without its subtitles. And I do this despite watching the Hollywood stuff for almost 8 years. However, in last three years, if not fewer, I have watched more than 200 movies. I have also learnt several accents and have gone into rigorous practises to train myself better not because the kind of job I was working demanded me to do that but because I had sort of passion for learning different accents. I have got so close now that I can tell whether a foreigner is pretending to accentuate English or he is going natural with his articulation. In a small stint at a call centre in Noida, I used to come across different accents as a routine. So much so I could distinguish where the speaker is from by the way s/he speaks. I am good at it.

Boston English isn't the same as Yankee English. Finns speak English differently than Danes. Chinese and Japanese might look similar in appearance but their approach to English is as stark as their foreign policies. An Aussie speaks English with careless attitude while a Scot speaks the same language with a hidden disdain. Despite all these vagaries, I still prefer to use subtitles while watching Hollywood films (British and Australian films as well). Simply because I can't pretend to understand something I don't. And if I miss a dialogue since I’m more verbally inclined than visually, then it bugs me. However, if I’m in line with the words spoken in a film, then I’m at peace. So, it's a personal reason. But what I’ve noticed among my friends and colleagues is they avoid subtitles because they don't like to read while watching a movie. That's also their excuse for overlooking non-English gems that come from the world of cinema. They'd rather pretend to act like they understood everything that they heard in an English film (when they haven't) than take the effort to read in sync with the movie.


English is one of the beautiful languages in the world –Yes my favourite. Though the British have lost their ability to speak correct English over time in last a few years, countries such as India, China and Japan, including few European countries, have honed their English skills very well. I am not at all saying that a country should be judged over its language. However, what all I am trying to say is that irrespective of the country you belong to some languages really take your heart away and for me English is one of them. I love Urdu as well but since my surrounding contains Hindi and English I am not that good in Urdu. Yes, Sanskrit had been my craze when I was a child. Mahatma Gandhi said “One who wishes to learn English well must learn Latin”. My inspiration has something do with Him as well. So, you can never (ever) beat me in the love towards English and I can tell it to anyone’s face. It’s a long story how it all happened. But yes, people must learn the essence of English. And for this, you can read books from Shakespeare, Drummond Allison , Kenneth Allott , Kenneth Allsop , E. M. Almedingen , John Almon , David Almond , Vincent Alsop , Al Alvarez , Moniza Alvi , Eric Ambler. I am sure you won’t forget thanking me later. 
             That You Are!

The most interesting of people are those who are
....
hurt yet bursting with care
broken yet their pieces emit light
awesome yet unaware of it
beautiful yet scarred by breeze
fragile yet courageous enough to breathe
wise yet prone to worldly silliness
lonely yet filling the space in your heart
clumsy yet comfortably in sync
honest yet cherishing a fairy tale
poetic yet fluent in prosaic silence
mistaken yet willing to repeat
indecisive yet up for the road trip
relentless yet unbounded by fate
lost yet found in your thoughts
....
raring to make it one day at a time.

You might be one of them.

Even if you aren't, stay the way you are.

Friday, 1 July 2016

 In retrospection the World                          
Jack Daniel's completed 150 years of existence and for the first time ever, they admitted that the original recipe of their whiskey came from a slave that Mr. Daniel owned. This revelation is just another thread one can hold on to for showing how dominant racism was once upon a time. It’s unimaginable to see a white person sharing a platform with a non-white. Remember, it’s always Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay—not the other way round. But i’ve got a bigger grudge to grind here. I think the world, be it any given era, relied on the lower section of the society for the cool stuff without giving the due credit. The finest form of music came from the poor and so did the language and art. The only difference being the rich and the privileged lot somehow hold the trump to declare what is cool and what ain’t. This has been going on for ages. The so-called upper caste, be it in Europe or Asia, did two things: accepted whatever they liked and owned whatever they could make of it. The flow has been upward for the most part. Which might explain why two decades ago, the Hindi gaalis were hush-hush but today, punctuating sentences with MC and BC is a unit of cool quotient.


Tuesday, 28 June 2016

You and Me: In the middle of everywhere

Every now and then, there's a periodic hue and cry about who we are as a people and what we truly represent. Are we Indian enough to call ourselves Indians or are we those who are basically disappearing? Are we so deep in disguise that we don't even recognise the sound of our fading away into homogeneity? The sun may rise in the east but it settles in the west. OK. That was a lame attempt at metaphor. But if you think you've got nothing to do with Western civilization, aren't you mistaken? You may lay claim to all the precious knowledge that Vedic India gave birth to even though you don't know the difference between Sanskrit and Prakrit. One (hailing from our country) can always blame our colonial baggage for this misplaced pride. It's like being in an elevator with the phone dipping in and out of network coverage. You're connected but still disconnected. A simpler method would be to call oneself a citizen of the world. But then, how can you do that if your range of geographical curiosity is limited to your city marked by sporadic vacations? 

More so, if you've become your favourite place and don't really bother to explore? In such a context, what exactly are you? You look very much Indian although it's quite difficult to classify Indianness by appearance. Some of the fairest people are found in South India and some of the darkest in the north. Our diversity is almost ridiculous. We've come to a point where we may prescribe to certain ethnicity or race or religion but our civilization seems very Western—if not completely American. Take a break and look at yourself. The clothes you're wearing right now have nothing to do with India nor the gadgets that have come to define your lifestyle. Your thought process and your wish to lead your life the way you want without paying the price of responsibility has Made-in-USA—if not Hollywood—stamped all over it. 

The way this world is built and functioning owes almost everything to the industrial revolution that kickstarted two centuries ago. We can be nostalgic about our glorious past but our present is remarkably rooted in the TV series that we can't have enough of. Our urbanity is going to be our species' downfall but aren't we enjoying the bungee-jump? Even our sense of humour is nursed by foreign memes. And if you still believe that 35% of the scientists in NASA are of Indian origin or that NHS is primarily run by desi doctors, you're actually attesting to the rise of a civilization that has proved itself to be more embracing than the one we are supposed to have come from. Yes, we enjoy Indian food because to put it bluntly, our kitchen has seen innovation like no other sphere. Not science. Not mathematics. Not business. Nothing. It's OK though. We are only aping the world like the rest of the world is.
                      Yours everyday!
  
I feel down and out
everyday
—every now and then
I feel lost and how
everyday
—sometimes more
    sometimes less
I feel better and best
everyday
—whenever i think of you
    whenever you think of me
    whenever we talk
I feel everything and more
everyday
—because it's you
    because it's me
    because it's us
    because whatever we can be
I feel the point is clear, isn't it?
    Like you say when i let you
—"You're my world."
    Or when i don't
—"You're mine."
    Should i shut up now?
    Or should i shut you up?
Regardless, i feel beautiful because of you
everyday.

Monday, 27 June 2016

                       Truth Spoke Last night

A wind of change whistled quietly
Adjusting itself around the hurdles
Nothing came in between
No one called to stop it
All went swept and strayed
It doesn't happen very often
But the way it did was strange
People shook themselves up
Talked aloud and made a vow to change
It was then when we heard
Something being said, something being done,
Something for the good,
Something for the love,
Something for the kids
This wind changed to a storm very soon
And roared in its full rage
All were awakened, some from laze,
Some from silence and some for grace,
It was a sight to behold,
It doesn't happen every day,
When people come out to see air
And find its voice in their ears,
While hope gives way to life,
And makes its presence felt,
That goodness prevails even today
And pain make hearts melt,
No one would forget such a sight
When truth spoke last night.

                                   Udta Rajan 


The problem with inspirational people like Raghuram Rajan prematurely quitting their position is there aren't many of his likes in our country. It's not everyday you come across public servants that are universally acknowledged as the finest in their respective field. Which is sad because these personalities are known for their work ethics and they mean good. What's sadder is Indian politics somehow always wins against diligence and gumption. One can argue that commoners like myself don't have the depth to understand economics and there are better people up for the job. I hope that is the case. We all know how the last government wasted a decade. We all can see how the chief minister in the capital went from an admirable IRS to an excuse-mongering mockery. We can also see how this government is goofing up big time with its senseless appointments and dismissals. It's not a joke for a central banker to be disrupted the way Rajan was. After all, India is going to pay the price at the end for these mistakes, if any. 

                            The Political Eye



People tend to believe what they see.  Especially, when you are all night up with your smart phone scrolling tweets and reading posts of people blabbing one thing and other about celebs and politicians. In fact, the real fun begins when you see people abusing politicians and celebs on Facebook and Twitter for no particular reason. I doubt if they google for such hard abuses –do they? Or maybe –who knows!  Of course, for politicians you can take a quick guess. You figure the reason behind those rants could primarily be due to not meeting the expectations of people or a situation where a political party has completely failed in keeping their promises they made during canvassing for votes. Generally, a common man in such a crisis finds himself with two states of mind. One: either he shuts his phone and throws it off and probably starts doing something important. Two:  Or he joins the gang and starts showing his involvement of defending or, say if you have a patience problem, offending others with his views and opinions. You get to see only these two types of people. And, in case you don’t fit in the above stupid classification, don’t lose your heart because there is always more to you than that --Yeah the same dialogue Bruce made to his girl in Dark Knight Rises --Remember?.

So the question is: why are they doing that and what exactly are they getting by doing that? After all, nobody is mad for making a dozen Twitter and Facebook accounts and then going nuts on a particular person –it could be a celeb –or in this case a politician. But then you knock some common sense into your head and start digging deep and you wonder if It could be a marketing plan of a political party. Let’s be honest guys. Politics thrives on public perception. Very few people own the courage to get their facts right. For example, lately I got to see a bulk of offensive hashtags being surfaced against Arvind Kejriwal, the Chief Minister of Delhi. AAP is confronting serious challenges at this point of time. From their MLAs being in news for assaulting on women and senior citizens to the Chief Minister himself being morphed with his statements, people, including me, are now inclined to have a wrong image of AAP. Now the questions are: Is Arvind Kejriwal a politician, way too effective to run a government? Or is he falling a prey to the advanced media strategy of other political parties? Why is the reason that he is being trolled so much even on petty issues? Or Is he being trolled because he is –or seem to be, speaking truth? Or does politics really come up with dud launching of new projects in India? Or is that the dynamics of politics have so changed in last a couple of years that now what matters for a political party is to run a sustained marketing campaign at the cost of tangible development?


Or –it’s an important one, people have lost the basic ability of using their common sense to penetrate small things, easily getting compelled to throw an idiotic opinion on others? Whatever it maybe, we still as being responsible citizens of this country need to play a big role. I would not touch upon everything. However, it could be argued to a great extent that a person residing in Mumbai doesn’t know a shit about what transformation Delhi is going through and when sees this, he loses the right to believe on what people are vomiting on social media about Delhi and its government. So, folks should chill and not keep themselves in waiting for common sense. Yes, it’s important because tomorrow you never know how political things (Thinking too far -You're right!) will be affecting us, our children (no, I am not married) and, of course, our society. So, take time and eye the political truth.