Go See Your Selfie!

There are many words and phrases that aren’t rooted in reality. Quite a lot of the words we throw around are due to pop cultural compulsion. A case in point being ‘awesome’; a term that lost its soul last decade during the rise of the Internet. It’s not alone though as the modern conversations are teeming with vacuous expressions. That said, nothing can come close to the vanity of “self-made person” because of a very simple fact: It’s impossible to be one. There has never been a self-made person in the history of our species. Not one.

Think about it.

Let’s assume you’re a self-made person, chances are you’ve arrived at this spectacular conclusion based on your tireless struggles and your triumphs over obstacles. Good for you. Fair enough too. But not great enough. You still owe a lot, a terrible lot, to others for where you stand today. It’s your arrogance and ignorance — a dangerous combination for anyone at any age — that’s not letting you acknowledge things that are right in front of your eyes.

Let’s take a closer look. You are wearing clothes prepared by machines manned by mill workers, followed by tailors, both of whom you’ll never meet. You can’t grow food, now, can you? Agricultural Revolution might have changed the collective fate of our kind but we’ve reached that stage in our journey where a majority of us assume food miraculously drops into our supermarkets. Farmers? Who? Left to our design, we’ll end up eating mud after the last packet of Maggi noodles runs out. Similarly, we live in a house built by laborers. We don’t even know how to make a brick, let alone come up with the mortar required to stack them up. Why? We throw in cash and wait for the magic to happen. We are essentially helpless because capitalism has programmed us to conclude that money solves all the problems. We know by now that it doesn’t. At its best, it helps make our problems others’.

Moving on, even if we zoom out of the basics, the dependence we have on the society as well as the nature is almost crippling. We breathe thanks to trees planted by people we won’t say thank you to. If you look at yourself right now, there’s not a single thing on you — smartphone, sunglasses, belt, wallet, shoes, etc. — that you can possibly create on your own. It took several lifetimes from the past to reach this milestone where these products could be bought; a word we take for granted because of the demand-supply abracadabra. Every little and huge entity around you took ages to exist. The irony being your existence is pretty much hinged on theirs, not the other way round.

When the power supply goes off and you start feeling the heat, the first thing that you realize is the extent of your dependence on electricity. And you can’t even explain in 100 words what electricity really is! If the power doesn’t return, how long can you go on before anxiety swallows you up? Most probably, you’ll get bored of the darkness and jerk off repeatedly. Try making a candle from your semen.

Unfortunately, the nature can easily carry on without us as it did even before we entered the picture. But we can’t carry on without each other. We need each other desperately all the freaking time. Yes, this applies to the most reclusive of beings. Just because we can afford to be strangers with fellow humans doesn’t mean we can do without them. The person who sat next to you on the train today might have been the one who helped you on the phone 5 months ago but then, he was just doing his job and you perfectly deserve each other’s stranger-ness. However, the acknowledgement of reliance is not undue, particularly when the world is getting warmer and we are turning colder.

Lastly, the so-called self-made persons can go take a walk in the forest.

                                                 

 Terminologies That Cause Illness!

Ignorance is bliss but only if you can afford arrogance. Otherwise, it’s a curse in disguise. That said, you’ve got to give it credit for being so smooth. There’s a very neat seduction process in place. First, it leads you to believe that it doesn’t exist. Second, it convinces you that you’re all knowledgeable. Third, it closes the window on those beacons of enlightenment. Fourth, it nurtures its best buddy (Arrogance) in you. Fifth and the final step is to let you marinate in your arrogant self without making you realize that you are being incredibly ignorant.

The only saving grace in such a scenario is to open the window. Never too late to do the needful. Something that seldom happens when arrogance and ignorance have joined hands against you.

Of late, there has been a burst in this long-standing collaboration between A and I among the youth, especially. Artificial Intelligence 2.0, ahem. And where else can you see it manifest itself as loudly as the Internet? Not like our species hasn’t always been idiotic, just that the social media highlighted this cardinal truth way more prominently than any other medium of expression. People accidentally setting their house on fire for the sake of their videos’ virality is undoubtedly stupid but they at least have a purpose. These folks are ignorant but not arrogant. The worst kind are the ones who are both. They generally showcase their talent by refusing to slay—a Shakespearean word recently resurrected by netizens — their preconceived notions. They’d rather stick to their version of the world and not even dare to hear what the other side has to say. To avoid contact, they will resort to labeling the ‘others’ derogatorily, if not patronizingly.

The most intriguing bit about the rise of AI 2.0 is their presence on both sides of the fence. They are, in plain words, extreme. Nuances are lost on them. Thanks to their ignorant-arrogant combo, concepts like feminism, nationalism, conservatism, and liberalism are getting stabbed as evil words. Remember how George W. Bush once hectored the world that it’s either with the US or against it? That’s how it is now. Online as of now. Eventually, the trend will be offline too. Takes times for the coin to drop in our country .

Going by the laws of AI 2.0, you are either an extremist liberal or you aren’t a liberal at all. Similarly, you have to be a Sanghi to be taken seriously as a person with right-wing ideologies. If you shed a tear while listening to AR Rahman’s Vande Mataran, you’d be labeled a nationalist. In case you were foolish enough to remind others of the role Indian family values played in the rise of middle class, you’d be tagged as a conservative or worse still, a prude. Supporting women’s fight against oppression and injustice might even make you an attention whore.
Strange (online) world. Stranger (online) rules.

I grew up believing extremism is something best left to the goons. Turns out it’s not that simple anymore. According to Natya Shastra, everything begins with a thought. And that is exactly what is being ransacked by the self-appointed curators of ideas. This form of extremism is on its way to choking the possibilities of today as well as tomorrow. Yes, they are merely words but the next step for a thought is not going to be action. That is going to be the last resort.

NB. For someone who seems averse to human interaction, I am strangely bothered by the continual decline of standards in discussions.

                                                     Your Tableman’s Dilemma

It’s only when you enter a sarkari building that you fully acknowledge the extent of rudeness an official can exhibit. The person sitting behind the table, irrespective of gender in our country, tends to speak in a tone that is meant to disrespect you. Not in the society at large but at least in that building. Although they are the ones who are the public servants — which categorically means that you are paying their salaries and they are placed there to help you—their body language tries to master your situation. Moreover, you don’t mind any hint of misconduct because you merely want to have your task done. It could be anything from getting a signature or a form approved. On the other side, the sarkari babus will behave as if he is doing a favour to you. No doubt the reluctance to work diligently is endemic in our public institutions. 

However, here’s something i’ve noticed that might explain the rude aura in such places: self-defence mechanism. The tableman (let’s call him that) doesn’t have anything against you. He doesn’t know you personally and can’t see that you are a well-behaved educated person who reads [sometimes an awesome blog like this (wink :)]. The kind of people he majorly encounters on a daily basis are those who aren’t high on etiquette either. They won’t stand in queue, will refuse to understand the most basic of requirements and thus create disorder. In their defense, aam janta doesn’t believe in rules mainly because they feel cheated by the system. 

So, what unfolds in a sarkari setting is the yin yang of each side trying to defend their turf. The tableman raises his voice, flails his hands, pushes the crowd back if required, etc., only to maintain his higher position in the given situation. If he doesn’t affirm his authority, aam janta will easily overpower him before destroying him completely. In order to avoid such dire circumstances, the tableman not only begins his day on a rude note but also ends it on the same lane. No touching soft corner please. Unless you say “thank you, sir” before leaving the table, forcing him to look up at you in wonder.

                                   

          Heroes and Cinema

If you haven’t watched Nocturnal Animals (2016) yet, you will. This film is the cinematic equivalent of shaving as close as possible. Clear cut and tense. There is an undeniable sharpness to almost every single shot registered in there. As if director Tom Ford and cinematographer Seamus McGravey quite literally want us to touch the dapperness of the events unfolding, bumping up the whole visual experience. And it is indeed an experience! Although you might be aware of the book from which this story is adapted or you might even be seduced by the likes of Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal helming the cast, you’ll come out massively impressed by Michael Shannon’s performance. If there is a list of underrated actors today, he must be sitting right on the top looking up at the sky instead of looking down on others. In Nocturnal Animals, Shannon’s character grants us the balance we seek in a thriller. 

He’s that guy who will do what needs to be done without ignoring the consequences. Intriguingly enough, everybody else on the screen lack this basic characteristic. His uniqueness lies in his anonymous suffering. He is angry at himself perhaps but he won’t tell you until it’s time. He is a good man and has what it takes to recognize a better man. He sticks to rules as long as he doesn’t have to abandon them. He, despite his relatively shorter screentime, boosts the screenplay the way we rarely get to notice nowadays. Tragic as it is, in the end, you don’t remember him because there is a grander scheme at play; the two main protagonists are busy trying to prove each other wrong and when such a game is going on, there is a little to no excuse left to highlight the real hero.

Oscars might be a self-validating circus but it’s a necessary circus. Which is why i feel that Amy Adams deserved that nod for her splendid outcome in Arrival (2016). I don’t know at whose expense though. It could have been her sixth nomination. She is yet to bag her first gong. By that yardstick, the only difference between her and Leonardo DiCaprio is there are no Internet memes dedicated to her. I’ll be surprised if she attends Dolby Theatre on the night of 26th this month. As she knows by now, the real nocturnal animals never show up.

                                 Walking into Oblivion 

She woke up with that feeling when one wants to vomit after a night of drunken extravaganza. Her feet felt cold as she dragged herself to the bathroom. Slowly lifting herself till she was in line with the pot. Her arms still aching but not even in close contention to her sides, she puked out a cocktail of alcohol, food, blood and a part of her soul.

In a night that had involved meeting this ravishing looking fella, that had led to drinks and debauchery, this moment was nowhere part of the picture. But as she turned to wipe her face, she could not help but notice her hands covered in red. Where did the blood come from, she wondered?

A slight push of strength and now she was on her knees. Another push and she got herself in front of this full-length mirror. Her face looked as if a truck had rammed it. A vision of the previous night flashed by and all she could think about was the list of drinks she had had. Not a single moment that recalled how she got where she was. Bloody and bruised.

She slowly crawled back into the room, dragging her left leg which seemed to be broken. It surprised her how she did not feel the pain a few minutes back, but now it had reached a level beyond imaginable. She used the edge of the bed to lift her self and with all the remaining upper body strength she finally managed to get onto the mattress.

She lay there for what seemed an eternity, still trying to recollect her surroundings. The blood still dripping and a strange sense of calmness blanketed over her mind as she still couldn't recall a single memory of where she was and what had happened to her.

Just then, the phone rang and a man's voice said, "Hope you love your birthday present."

   Yeah, I'll Try Keeping It Real for Sure

If you’d ask me whether any actress managed to replace Madhuri Dixit in Bollywood, i’d say no. She left a huge void. Her versatility, range of choice and years in the industry ensured so. That said, the contenders for the crown narrows down to very few actresses (purely on their craft, not merely looks) who somehow lacked consistency. And still do. There’s no Hindi film actress around who can do justice to the C-word. Nope, not even Kajol or Vidya Balan. The former had a phase and so does the latter. Let’s not even talk about Deepika Padukone or Katrina Kaif. Yes, both have Smita Patil Memorial Award in their kitty but that doesn’t alter the fact that acting remains alien to them. Which is why it’s a good enough time to go back to Aishwarya Rai. She has had her share of rubbish movies but there are some gems she should be proud of. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) takes the cake for me—Raincoat (2004) comes close second, interestingly co-starring Ajay Devgan again—for the sheer contrast between her character in the first half and the second half; the bubbly spirit giving way to a subdued married naari. And that particular scene where she is asked to smile for a picture remains epic. Holding back one’s sorrow with a pseudo-smile can’t get any better than this.

       The Unresolved Visits a Neighborhood

There had been a robbery. Nobody was home and when the family members returned, they were greeted by a guard-less gate followed by chaotic rooms. It was as if the culprits had set a timer, giving themselves few minutes for each room. Leave no valuables behind must have been the mantra. More than 10 kg of gold was missing along with some super-expensive gadgets. Oh yes, the security guard too. Obviously, the sword of doubt fell squarely on the poor fellow. A manhunt was announced as the family wouldn’t let someone betray their trust and get away with it easily. An example had to be set. Little did any of them know his body was slowly rotting in the backyard away from everything and yet so close.